I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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