there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
