her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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