but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
