I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize