So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
