I'm pants shitting drunk right now
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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