So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
