we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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