need another drink. this is the easiest way
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
