That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
