When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
