I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
