so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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