in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
