Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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