wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize