Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
