i permit you to call me
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
