Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
