I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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