that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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