no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Randomize
