1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
