Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Be still, my beating vagina.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize