Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
