your room smells of hookers.
And success
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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