In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
