well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
