so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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