does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
