I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
