My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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