So drunk, too bad you don't want this
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
