Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
