gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
