Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
