no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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