Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
