chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
