YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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