i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
