Her vagina should come with caution tape.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
