Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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