Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
a search helicopter?!
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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