Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
