i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
