dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
