used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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