What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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