Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
