We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
