i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
