I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
