office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
