Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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