It's Friday. Sex?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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