Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
