Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
