The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
