It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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