I can text with my tongue
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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