I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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