no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
