I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
