Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
