And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
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I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
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All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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