What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
