Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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