ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
