Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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